Boyfriend in a Box

Dear Kitty,

My boyfriend asked me if we are going to exchange gifts this year for Christmas.  I asked him what he thought.  He said he thought we should just not do it and spend the money on "our loved ones".  We have been dating for a year and serious for close to 7 months by Christmas.  I am so shocked and hurt.  How could I not be considered a loved one?  I quickly got off the phone with him and didn't say anything.  I already bought his gift.  My best friend says I should return it because he avoidably doesn't care enough to know how important this holiday is to me.  My sister says that giving is for giving and not for getting and to give him the gift if I love him and that I need to ignore my best friend's advice.  I am writing to you to ask what you think.  I know you give blunt honest and fun answers.  Please throw in some real advice for me too!  I am just so torn on what to think, feel and do here.

Megan

Dear Megan -

I have a whole lot to say to you, thank you for writing in.  This is a perfect topic for all of us (Manalopes & Bitchachos) to discuss.  

First of all, the advice I give is real.  I do not consult a magic eight ball, although now that I think about it... I am going to have to do that from time to time.  Great idea.  I was a bit miffed by your suggestion that I am not providing "real" advice, but with your same suggestion you gave me an idea to improve Advice Wednesday, with a magic eight ball - YOU ARE REDEEMED!

About this boyfriend not knowing how important Christmas is to you....
Is your boyfriend one of those plastic and tinfoil models straight out of the box that comes with instructions and mind reading capabilities?  Not everyone is in love with Christmas like you and I.  He may not be into it and feels like he is obligated to give to his family and will do it but it's ok to be himself with you.  
He may also have 3 other girlfriends and figures that buying for four just isn't in the stars this year.  I mean how embarrassing would it be if you all ran into one another with the same necklace with a "his" charm on it. 
He may also just be a normal guy and not have a clue about gift giving  - again if you want him to know something you have to tell him.  Not all guys are natural givers of the gifts.  

About your sister and your bestfriend - Who is in a normal relationship that is lasting?  Go with that one.  If neither ignore 'em both!  And quite honestly, it's not a matter of doing what someone tells you to, it's about asking yourself some questions:



1.) Do you love this guy?
2.) Do you feel his love back?
3.) What did this guy do for your birthday?
4.) Is your boyfriend a mind reader?
5.) How serious are you and your boyfriend?
6.) Can your boyfriend afford a gift?
7.) How important is a gift to you, truly?
8.) What is it you want for Christmas? (You can always just get it for yourself after you return his gift if that is the way you go)
9.) Is your refrigerator running?
10.) Is this man worth all of this stress?  How old are you guys?

So there you have it.  I cannot answer your question or fix your dilemma, I do not have enough information.  With that being said, feel free to give me more details so I can give it to you like you want it.

With the information you have provided I am going to go with - Take that shit back and get yourself something real nice.  This is of course assuming your boyfriend is a mind reader or you have already told him how important this is to you.  I mean c'mon...this isn't about a gift - it's about him saying "loved ones" and you feeling insecure about not being loved.  I am going to throw a handle full of marbles in the dark and guess that you have no idea where your relationship is at with this guy and are grasping for some sort of sign or something... HONEY, HERE IS THE ONLY SIGN YOU WILL GET!

~*Kitty*~