Being Kitty is a tough job. There are many facets to it. Is it facet or faucet? I am talking about the kind with water rushing out....so keep up! Each one has something different. One is professional as fuck, one is motherly and wise like, one is friendly and ticking like a time bomb, one says drink me like in the movie with Alice what's her name, and so on....
Are you with me? Got the mental note?
Lately, I have been focused on the motherly and wise facet. It's been great!
I mean really great. I have put all my energy into it.
Suzy F. Homemaker, minus the clean house and shit.
Even cookin' in a crock pot!
I quit smoking, I started eating healthier, I have been super involved.
All the things normal people do who don't work 24/7. It's been great!
The Kitten has been happy. I have been well again. It's been pretty great for moral and shit.
The Kitten even (with a lil help from her almost Broadway, mum....okay...it wasn't almost...it was Battleground, Washington and I had one line...okay...there weren't lines...I stood there and acted as if I was a tree...okay, not a tree! Alright! Alright! I was a fuckin' rock! I was the best fuckin' rock seen in the PNW!!) auditioned for a play this month and we are awaiting to hear back on the results. It's been nice having time for my princess!
The cat even has been getting spoiled rotten! It's becoming a real problem with her meowing at me all the time. I am pretty sure today she threatened to slit my throat if I didn't feed her right that very second. I feel a bit under siege here.
With all the cooking, loving, teaching and time I have been giving it leads me to the part in the story where I tell you about last night.
It's been getting down into the teens for temperature here lately at night. As my Manalopes and Bitchachos know from the beginning, it's just The Kitten, myself, and now a cat named, Elvira. Three lady minxes runnin' this city here in Washington. We rule, whether in our minds or in life. The Kitten loves WWE, we watch it weekly and partake in most events we can. It's her thing and now it's become our thing, we have become obsessed. It's something we share. It's all I have to fuckin' talk about these days. I talk about that, The Kitten, and the damn cat.
Anywhooo...back to my story...
Last night it was so cold out. We live in an old place with lots of windows to over look a lake (it's lovely) but with not enough insulation. It's also a daylight basement set up, so when we sleep we are in the dirt!! Got that picture yet?
The Kitten asked if she could sleep in my room last night. So it ends up being The Kitten, the cat, and myself in my bed. I luckily have a queen size bed, but you add a skinny, leggy pre-teen and fat cat who triples in size when she sprawls out and it leaves about a fifth of the bed for me.
No big deal, I get to bed and fall asleep.
That's when it happened!
All of a sudden, I am screaming! Yelling is more like it. "What the Fuck!"!! I was so stunned and out of it! I had no idea what had just happened. I focused my eyes (without my glasses) in the dark the best I could and THERE IT WAS... The Kitten was sitting up with her eyes closed. Her elbow was out like she was doing the chicken dance or something...it was strange!! She had elbow dropped me at 2:47am in my sleep. I finally woke her and told her to get to her own side of the bed. By 5am I had a raging face ache that woke me up and by 10am this nice lil blue eye thing!
Why do they call it a, BLACK EYE? I wonder?
Now that not only the cat is threatening me, The Kitten is jumpin' from the top rope while I sleep and messing my face up! What has gone wrong? Too much Betty Crocker shit on my part?
From here on out it's war! Bringin' out my
Kitty Ninja jammies at night and taking
back my house!
I am the Kitty! Hear me roar!
I cannot help but wonder if this is all because I need to clean my house!
I need some little vermin to come in and clean my house! Is it not happening because I cannot sing????
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