Some More Advice From Kitty 05 14 2014

Dear Kitty’s Sarcasm,

I am a single woman living close to Indianapolis.  I am truthfully a size 16 and 5’6” tall.  I am always told I have a pretty face (which is nice, but you know what that means, right?).  I was in a relationship for 4 years that ended 2 years ago.  After 2 years of being single, I have experienced online dating, being set up by friends, meeting people in bars, at events, you name it.   The same thing comes from all of these men I have been on a date or 2 with.  “I want to be friends, I just do not see anything else.” Or “I am looking for someone more athletic.” Or “Are you interested in losing weight?  I can help you.  We could be work out buddies.”

I am not extremely obese, but I am considered obese.  I have had some medical issues in the past that caused a weight gain.  I have lost two dress sizes in the past year.  I am not interested in becoming a gym rat, and honestly do not enjoy working out.  I enjoy hiking and outdoor activities to exercise. 

I guess my question to you is, where are the men out there who love a woman for who she is and accept her “ flaws”?  I dress what I think is cute and trendy, keep myself together, and have my shit together with a real group of friends and a great career as a teen substance abuse councilor and advocate.  I just am not sure where to meet someone anymore.

This isn’t your expertise I know, but I thought after reading your blog and posts here you might have some real help or at least something to make me laugh with.

Kelly

Dear Kelly,

First of all, I think I am an expert in some of what you're talking about.  I am not a skinny-mini.  I am single.  I am also a, "pretty face" at times.  Where I am no frickin' help at all, is where to find this man.  I am glad you haven't settled for someone who wants to change you.

Good job on losing the two dress sizes, but obviously it goes to show that regardless of what you lose, you have to be happy.  I wonder if you're truly happy with yourself and have a positive self image?  When you feel good about yourself, people are drawn to that.  

My advice for you is this, make sure you're happy with you and every part of you.  Once you're there and happy, do not sit around and dwell or wait on a man to come your way.  It will happen.  Or honestly, it wont.  But either way, you'll be happy with you.

I suppose this isn't any help at all.  It's not sarcastic or funny, I apologize for being so serious.  I truly believe this topic is no joke.  I suggest googling Tess Munster.  There are so many beautiful plus size or as I would like it to be called, AWESOME SIZE, roll models out there.  Or have you heard of, The Militant Baker?Another blog or page to check out is, Curves and a Camera. she posts a lot of body positive things and has a super fun sense of humor.  She is actually a friend of mine and a fellow, Bitchacho.  I am willing to bet if you reach out to either of those ladies you will get some great answers as well.  These ladies may or may not be your speed or have things in common with you.  I just mention them because they are three of the most secure and positive people I have come across on line as far as body imaging and love yourself comes.

Best of Luck and Wishes of You Loving You!

Kitty

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Dear Kitty,

I read your blog yesterday about the oatmeal.  Get real, bitch.  No one wants to hear about your day.  Stop kidding yourself.  The world would be a better place if "Mom Bloggers" would stop trying to be famous and start doing somthing.

Tian

Dear Tian,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog.  Your first sentence contradicts your third sentence.  By saying you read the blog and then saying no one wants to hear about it, you are talking out of both sides of your pie hole.  You had to have read my quick run down above the link to the blog to have been curious enough to click on the link.  It did tell you it was about my day.  If no one means, 249 people visited that post in the past 24 hours, then I have to say... I sure love all the "NO ONES".  As for your Mommy Blogger statement, I am not a "Mom Blogger".  I am Kitty of Kitty's Sarcasm, who happens to be a mom with a blog as well.  I also have a twitter feed and another fan page called, Kitty's Kitchen Shenanigans.  I am to the point now in this response to wanting to throw myself from my unicorn and crawl to my kitchen for some vodka martinis.  I mean seriously.  Get over yourself.  I am not famous, I do not plan to be and I am doing a whole lot of shit.  I posted a pic below for you to see what I am doing now.  

Go Fart So You Feel Better,

Kitty

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Dear Kitty,

Your the most funniest person on the intrnet.  I live in SW Washington.  I am close to you I think.  Maybe we could make plans to meet.  I will buy you all the vokda gimlets you like.  I will even pay for a hotel.

Delvin

Dear Delvin,

Sounds like you have had too many vodka gimlets already.  You might want to go back to school, it's probably been a few decades for you but you should really think about graduating the 6th grade at least, get some manners and for your own protection I have blocked you.  I am not a prostitute.  I am a Bitchacho who will go psycho on your ass if you talk to another woman like this again.

Kitty

Oatmeal

This morning we had the typical wake up after snooze was hit three times, the cat came in yelling at me to open the curtains so she could properly stalk the ducks, geese, blue jays, and squirrels.  I rolled out of bed once I couldn't take it anymore, did the zombie walk to the living room to open the curtains, realized I couldn't breathe well, wondered how in the fuck could I be getting a cold on a week of 80 degree weather in Seattle (We just do not get a lot of these  warm and glorious days throughout the year! 

It isn’t fair.  



I contemplated stomping my feet and screaming, 
maybe throwing myself back in bed and sleeping more…and then I realized, “It’s probably just allergies and I am probably just being an asshole.  Good thing it’s just me and the cat that is awake.”)!!  



I went about my morning routine, peed, fed the cat, washed my face and made breakfast for The Kitten.  This morning, my routine changed a little as I woke up feeling like a lil piggy needing to eat everything in my kitchen but nothing sounded good.  I made myself some breakfast as well.  I usually wait until after I am up, showered and dressed for the day to eat for myself (I have to get myself ready for the day and presentable because The Kitten might lose her shit on me if I look embarrassing dropping her off for the day).  

I sat down to eat with The Kitten and all of a sudden, my first bite fell all over my shirt (I did get dressed while food was cooking, that was a brilliant idea!!).  If it had been a piece of scrambled egg, it would have been no big deal.  But it wasn't, it was ooey-gooey oatmeal….

My point of this whole ramble you may wonder?

I am PMS’ing, cramping, hangry, wearing  oatmeal  on my shirt, and I cant fuckin’ breathe!  

So…have a fuckin’ great day, Pumpkin!! 

I am going to work on not being an asshole today.  That’s all I can take on today.  It’s gonna be rough, but for fuck’s sake…I am in no mood to be toyed with by flying oatmeal and snot in my head!!

Kitty's Tantrum of Pandemonium

With the new advertising set up on Facebook, it is making it almost impossible for my current group of 3700 or so fans to see my posts on a regular basis.  It's a crying shame.  Not in the fact that I am crying in sadness, but more tears of a complete temper tantrum of sorts.  This PAGE on Facebook of mine and the blog here that you're reading mean a lot to me.  Call me crazy, call me silly, hell...call me drunk - but these two things helped your dear ole Kitty get through a ton of life changes.  From moving, getting divorced, raising a preteen that is too smart for her own good, changing jobs, and then changing again.  I was in a horrible place, a great place, a real shitty place, and here I am on the road to a great place again...  I am sure you can see why the temper tantrum state I am in is not only required but it is with just cause.

In my state of tantrum pandemonium I have come up with a few ways for Facebook's Zuckerborg to change things up and still make a ton of money.

1.)  Require the pages to allow certain adds in their page's wall posts.  Seems like a pain for all, but in the end...fuck it.  Some will buy some wont, and pages can keep their posts in their fan's timelines.

2.) A nice jello wrestling event in each major city.  Facebook can sell tickets and rake in the the loot.

3.) This one is a, 'DUH' & a 'NO FREAKING BRAINER' - Hello!! Start your own VODKA line!  It's a multi-million if not billion dollar idea!  You'll get what you wanted in advertising from the page owners...I would probably pay for several pages.  You're welcome for the idea!

4.) Just stop being such greedy assholes.  I will be taking my posting to my BLOG or own website if this keeps up.  Between all my pages I am sure I am a very small drop in the bucket, but with 14,000 followers total or so.

Rant over.

That's all.

KITTY NOT QUITE OVER IT & OUT!