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Dear Kitty, Your post today which pictured Bart from the television show, The Simpsons, writing on a chalk board, MIT ROMNEY IS A FU#*@NG LIAR, had to be the most distasteful post ever posted on your page. I have been a fan for several months thought you had one of the more tasteful pages out there with humor and sarcastic nature. I can handle the cursing and weird posts sometimes, but calling Mit a liar? Do you know anything about Mitt? Our country is in diar straights. The only thing that will fix it will be getting the current President out of office and having Mit fix our country. I have clicked unlike on your page and will no longer be following your posts. I wanted to send you a message to let you know why and am hoping you will rethink being hateful in the future. Not everyone wants to know your political views. If you want to keep readers think about that. God Bless America, Kristine
Dear Kristine (or as I refer to you) Sheep Woman, My ADHD has me all kinds of everywhere right now! I am trying to figure out where to start with you and your letter. Today I was given advice about a business letter I was writing and it was suggested I make it less wordy and use bullet points. I am going to go that route so that I do not spontaneously blow the fuck up or end up writing a novel. Here it is:
Mitt Romney is spelled incorrectly. If you are going to stand behind a candidate learn to spell their name.
Think twice before asking someone if they know about something that you, yourself cannot spell and most likely have only heard about from what others have told you - rather than through fact finding for yourself. #SHEEP
FUCK YOU and Get a Sense of HUMOR
The post didn't say, FU#*@NG, it said: FUCKING
You are correct that not everyone wants to know my political views. I want to remind you or inform you that no one here on KS truly knows what my personal views are. I post things to evoke reaction, humor, FUN! Even if it is poking fun at something I dont believe in.
I want to only keep readers with a sense of humor. I am glad you left.
Get a sense of HUMOR and FUCK YOU
I am not Bart Simpson. I am Kitty. The post was of a smart-ass cartoon character- you do realize Bart is not real, RIGHT???
DIAR STRAIGHTS? <--what does that mean? Are you talking about, Dire Straits the band? Money for nothing and the chics for free? Now that might be something we can agree on...I want my money for nothing and my chics for free!
I WANT MY MTV and while I am having it, GO FUCK YOURSELF.
I am blessed already, if you have seen posts with photos of me you will see that this lady is blessed with not only with the gift of sarcasm, brains and personality but I am HOT HOT HOT. I think you might want to start praying for your own blessings, I saw your profile pic and Facebook page!
As for the most distasteful post you have seen, woah! Hold on! You jumped ship way too soon! It's not even Celebrate We Killed the Natives Day! Something tells me that you will still be creepin' on the page!! See you around Thanksgiving!
There you have it, Kristine. My bullet points to answer your message. I appreciate your feed back and anytime you want me to tell you to go FUCK YOURSELF, feel free to write in again! While I may have typos and grammar issues in my response the one four letter word I support I can spell. I am sure you have not learned a lesson here, enjoy the pasture, Sheep!
I will leave it to the Manalopes and Bitchachos to pipe in or add anything if I am missing something!
Question to all my fire-y thinking crazies....do you listen
to pod casts? I have recently found some
great pod casts! I wanna hear what you
listen to. Or am I the only one out of all of us here? Plug your fave pod casts on the page or tell
me about it to share! I will share too
if anyone has interest, I never know with you all… I will be writing a blog on one I recently
listened to that sparked so many things inside me. While I am spouting off...I am pretty sure I
am in love with @KatieMcVay ! I will
share her stuff later in my blog. She is
insanely genius without even knowing it and to boot (yes, I fuckin said
"to boot") she is a comedian and hilarious (we all know just because
you call yourself a comedian doesn't mean you are funny). She has it all. Unknown genius, hilarity and in my mind
because I have not seen her yet (googling her youtube stuff next) she is a
pixie looking sparkling nomad. I mean if
that isn't love at first sight or hear or word of mouth...
I sent her the world’s
worst tweet (seriously - the tweet made no fucking sense at all and was
all kinds of dumb - she may block me for being an idiot and assume I am a 12
year old stalker rather than the 34 year old crazy Kitty - either way, I think she may be frightened by me already) after listening to
her get interviewed on WWD by @MartyDeRosa (only took me a week to finish the podcast
because I am surrounded by assholes that expect me to participate in
LIFE).
For all the new Bitchachos and Manalopes to twitter and to our fb page... if you tweet follow me/us {saying “us”
because from time to time I have help, not just the voices within, on our fb page and you should follow Marty and Katie} on twitter @KittysSarcasm . Everything I post here goes straight to the
twitter feed plus much more having to do with just me and whomever I am
currently obsessed with.
Back on track…Kat!! The
only thing about this current pretend love affair with Katie is that she is 24,
doesn't want kids and she lives in Chicago so it isn't a love connection.
We were so close to making it
happen...oh well.
Maybe she will make it to Seattle one day and I can see her
live at least at a show. I am thinking
she is the kind of girl who would dig my idea of bolting (or for PETA’s sake …
Safely Strapping) guns, lazer beams and bazookas to animals before sending them
out to battle zombies...maybe not (if not, it’s ok…she can’t be perfect). I should just be blogging...ok...taking my
love elsewhere for the moment.
Smoochie! *~Kitty~* PS: MY ADHD took me to youtube before I posted
this so here is something from that lil gal pal of mine. Show her love. She is here on Facebook under, Yell You Better. Same for Youtube: Yell You Better.
Ok, so here it is, the above was
going to be a plain fb post...but nah that didn't fuckin happen. I just turned this post into a blog, why the
fuck not…my ADHD is slightly off today due to the fact that I just realized I hadn't taken my meds!
Woah, here you are, here I am…if you are still reading…just
do me a favor and ask yourself….are you excited for what comes next, like the
kind of excited that sprouts inspiration or thoughts of an instant dance
party? Or are you bored out of your gourd?
I thought about painting or carving a
gourd this year instead of a pumpkin…I chickened out feeling creepered out at the ugly vege starring
at me. IF YOU ARE BORED, just close this baby up and
be on your way…maybe you could write a letter to me and let me know what it is
you hated. All my Manalopes and
Bitchachos know how much I love the hater fan mail!
Give it to me!
Ok, so what was I blogging about?
Ahhhh...yes...
It’s amazing how one thing leads you to another thing and
really I could connect the dots all the way back to my youth but that story is
seriously for another day. I will talk
about that at some point. I am just not
feelin it now. Long story short, my
youth should be a lifetime movie and I may just in-fact sell the rights one day
when they give me the entrance ticket to the white padded room with a FREE
bonus hug me jacket! I often wonder who
I would have play me? I can’t think of
anyone currently famous….so thank God I have, Kitten…I will just groom her to
take the roll. Then they can make a
sequel when she is grown about how her life was being groomed for a movie role
playing her mother…wow, I need to think this out… Dollar Signs flashing in my retinas.
Yeah-Yeah.
OK…so back to Katie
and the podcast question…
I listen to a podcast called Wrestling With Depression
(WWD). You may think to yourself, it must
be all about wrestling…because you see
the posts of a Zombie CM Punk or the mentions of Kitten and I watching PPV
wrestling shows and our rituals of watching it during the week. Or the fact that we just went to our first
show.
You Are Wrong.ß I love saying that.
Imagine me saying it in a judgemental and not making you feel better Dr.
Phil way.
The dude who hosts the show is an avid wrestling fan but the
show is about other stuff. I am just not
fucking doing it justice here…
Bottom Line à
It kicks ass and talks about the issues people today face with depression, mental
illness, anxiety, social situations and on and on. I am sure you are saying in your head, why the frick would I want to listen to
that depressing shit…well here is why…Mary DeRosa is the host, he is a Chicago
comedian who just kicks ass on the mic and has had struggles with depression (I
have to get credit to Kitten who made me pick my favorite wrestler this year
sometime in March, but doing that she said oh good now use your twitter and keep me updated….anyways…I found Marty
through that all –tracking with me
still???). Ok, back to Marty - he
interviews all sorts of characters and it is just plain brilliant. Anywhoooo…that is how I came to learn about
Katie McVay. She was on the show earlier
this month. Admittedly, I also have a
crush on Marty…he knows it, or in my head he knows it, regardless if I believe
it it is true (I read that on the internet so you know it’s the haps). I wonder if he and Katie fight over me in
their comings and goings….hmmm…conversations take place like:
Katie: That
Kitty sent me the oddest tweet today, who the hell is Kitty and why are you
following her, Marty?
Marty: Who?
Katie: Who the
fuck cares…maybe she will write in to Yell You Better and I can yell at her…
Marty: Are you talking about the chic from that
band? Oh wait..the chic that I need to get a restraining order from before I am
in WA next month…thanks for the reminder…
Katie: Why the
fuck are we talking about this… yah… um… so… yah… um… so… yah… um… so… yah… um…
so… yah… um… so…
Wait, where am I? I am off track, thank, God I am used to it
here! At some point you probably started noticing all the typos and non-words thrown around...GET OVER IT!
Here is what I want to know… do my Manalopes and Bitchachos listen
to podcasts and what they are/about.
I want my single & dating and not so dating Manalopes
& Bitchachos to listen to WWD’s episode with Katie and give it a shot. It’s about an hour and twenty minutes. Listen in traffic – where ever - I mean there
has to be a safe median with wifi, right?
Or safer would be to do it in some form of transportation, get some
metal around you! My only disclaimer
would be: if you attempt to do it while
working or at work it may be a week or more long event of 5-10 minutes here and
there ßBUT TOTALLY WORTH
IT.
Now I feel like I am losing my mojo and feeling like I am
just sucking at selling this…
So just fuckin think to yourself…actually …NO…don’t think!
Say out loud the following….
“I
WILL GIVE IT A GO AND LISTEN FOR 38 minutes before I make a decision”.
I am thinking about all the topics I could cover here right
now but I would rather just post some videos and have you check Marty and Katie
out.
Do IT!
After you listen to the podcast-message me. I want to talk about the part with the
umbrellas. One of the best ADVICE WEDNESDAYS we have had here, I
posted a letter we got about online dating.
Since I have brought up online dating…thank you for the
messages encouraging me to get out there and date and explore the world but
here is the thing….
I don’t think I am ready.
I am so afraid to get hooked on the love potion again that I am
handicapping myself on purpose. Blaze,
who is a former admin of our fb page has posted before the video shorts of “Kit”
from Failure to Launch. It’s true, I am nuts.
She is correct and not the first person to tell me that the character is
sooo like me! She also has posted about
my Elizabeth Taylor status…yes in a way true too…I think I just love weddings…ya
know. The dress, the cake, the music…next
time I consider getting serious with anyone – someone in my life needs to throw
me a freakin party instead! This last
divorce cost me a pretty penny emotionally and financially… A party and some
therapy would have been much cheaper! I
need to work on relationships with people who do not fall in love with me in 10
minutes and on the part of me that isn't in love with being in love.
I blame Barbie. I had a shit ton of them as a kid…I would
have weddings and love stories. How
come no one told me that fairy tales aren't real? And on that note I think Ken is to fucking
blame too. I swear his plastic body
brainwashed me into be attracted to dudes who can’t take care of
themselves. The anatomy alone on a Ken
doll explains a whole fucking lot now that I think about it. Thanks, Matel and everyone fucking else who
let me day dream about Barbie weddings and perfect people! Where the hell is the Disney movie about the
weird girl who changes her mind a lot and is horrible with relationships? Hmmm?
Tell me? If I wasn't so freakin
broke from getting divorced I would produce each one of those princess movies
all over again with real endings.
Tangent…oops! Where am I?
Ah, yeaaahhh… I am here eating a chicken fajita burrito bowl
from, Chipotle …scrump …and writing a fb post turned blog because I finally
finished the WWD podcast and got all twitter pated over people I don’t
know and will probably never meet…
Are you sure you should be reading this blog
still? I mean… Why are we doing this right now?
This bowl is so delicious – you need to have one pronto!
Here is something to think about…but wait…before that…does
anyone know how to clean a laptop’s key board that needs more help than a can
of air?
Where was I?
Oh yah…back to “Here is something to think about…”:
No entries this week for ADVICE WEDNESDAY. Guess what I have some advice anyways!!!
When at the library do not walk, read, wander and day dream all at once. Today someone "I know" was just minding her own business - walking around, reading, wandering and day dreaming when all of a sudden
- wait for it.... wait for it.... -
She tripped over her own foot, caught herself from a nose dive and somehow wrenched the heck out of her neck. "She" told me she is now sitting on her couch with a hot neck wrap because when she turns her head it sends a thunderbolt down her neck.
So my advice - DO NOT TRY THIS AT THE LIBRARY!
On the bright side "she" was able to check out the movie, Bringing Up Baby with Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant! Still not sure if that was worth it for "her"!
Dear Kitty - I have a nice rash today that is turning a light purple in the middle where it was a blotchy red. Any ideas on how to cure crotch rash? Itchy Rash
Dear Itch Rash - I suggest a flaming torch. Burn it off! Wrap your pecker dude! Thanks for the bullshit letter. I am not responsible for the response you will get from the Manalopes and Bitchachos! In fact I encourage them all to give you a nice piece of advice here! *~*Kitty*~*
DISCLAIMER:
REMEMBER THIS IS JUST A FUN BLOG FULL OF SARCASM AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT. WE ARE NOT DOCTORS, PSYCHOLOGIST OR PEOPLE WHO SHOULD GIVE ADVICE...THE FACT THAT YOU ASKED FOR IT, IS WHY YOU ARE GETTING IT.
As many of us here on your page do have EX's that we have offspring with I wanted to ask this.... Myex has started dating someone (well it's been few a
someones). I'm upset that my ex introduced these someone's to our children very quickly - what is the right amount of time before you should introduce your children to a boyfriend/girlfriend? Do I have the right to demand to meet this person who will be around my children?
- Concerned Casey
Dear Concerned Casey -
Legally, (and remember I only play an attorney on televison) I do not think you have a leg to stand on... so I hope
you have a comfy chair. You can however ask him nicely;
you do risk him just assuming you are jealous. All you can
do is be an example on your side of things. When the kids
aren't with you, you cannot control what he is deciding to do asa parent.
I guess my first thought is --> If you have an okay relationship and can co-parent well, just ask nicely and try not to come across like you want to kill him for being a freaking space cadet about this. My next thought is -->
If you do not get a long you should consider just ignoring it. I know that you have your children's best interest in mind, but causing waves and a fight with the ex will effect the kids too. Another thought -->
If you plan to try and get him to let you meet the new women first --> make sure you are okay with that too. Anyone you have the kids around that he doesn't know he needs to meet
first as well. I had a friend who went through this on and off for
3 years. Her man finally settled down. All you can do be a good mom to them and not worry. Now if you think these multitudes of women are all
crack whores or something dangerous, maybe call the authorities.
You unfortunately cannot stop him from dating stupid girls. It's his prerogative.
Or.... and I save the big OR for last...
Mace the ex each time he does this. He will eventually stop
dating all together due to his eyes being in constant burn mode and the feeling as if he has hot lava pouring down his face.
OR
How about a nice glass of Jack or Jose' and hot bath...maybe you two can rekindle the love?
OR...
Give me his number, I will call him up and explain calmly
who I am and why I am now in charge of his every
move. I am sure that will work!!!
OR (and last OR):
When we march on the Zombies we can hit his place too!!
I think I have lost my mojo! I plan to take that back too when I see your ex on our march to eliminate the Zombie threat. I am assuming he stole it by being such an ass-hat. I am guessing a few Manalopes and/or Bitchachos will pipe in as well. In the end you are stuck with this ass-hat and his trolling penis ways until he settles down.
