3's

Dear Kitty's Sarcasm - I am thinking about having a threesome. What do you think?  Kim






Dear Kim -


I don't get your question.


Kitty

Girl you got me Trippin'

Dear Kitty -


Today was one of those days for me.  It seems like every-time one thing goes wrong, 12 things go wrong.  Iw don't even know where to start.  I need advice and have not a clew where to start.


"Tammy"

Dear Tammy -


Thank goodness you came to me.  I am certain where to start.  It's one of those step, 1 2 3, type things.  Listen up:


1. Spell Check figure it out.
2. You are negative, when you are negative you attract negative things.
3. No one cares.  If you are going to be vague, no one cares.

Problems Solved.  You are so very welcome.

Now onto the most important thing...Your "name".
All I can and could think about while reading your email today was, "why in the hell did this bitchacho pick, "Tammy"?  I do not hate the name, but it is puzzling.  So as I close my computer to finish this post...

I say, thank you, "Tammy" for making me obsessionally ponder your name and -mf- you along the way...I already tripped over thick air thinking this through...


Kitty

Plant Guy goes CSI

Betty and Kitty –

I am tired of my neighbor drinking until all ends of the night and having people over.  I see Kitty post about this from time to time.  I live in a condo and my neighbor is right next to me.  What can I do?  I did throw a potted plant at his back door the other night.  Nothing happened.

Plant Guy

 PLANT GUY - I have a similar issue with drunk ass neighbors.  You cannot knock on their door, it is harassment when living in a complex or compound type community.  All you can do is call security if you have it or police.  I find a nice annonamous gift basket left on their stoop can be effective.  Ideas on ingredients: pamphlet from AA, a water bottle, tums, alkaseltzer, crackers and maybe a barf bag.  I would also suggest leaving a card that said something to the effect that the basket was for there next bender and to please quiet down….make sure they have no idea it is from you…CSI your shit…rubber gloves, pay for shit in cash…you cannot be too careful.     ~*~Kitty~*~

Jealous?  Call the cops or join the party!! Beulah

DISCLAIMER:

REMEMBER THIS IS JUST A FUN BLOG FULL OF SARCASM AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT.  WE ARE NOT DOCTORS, PSYCHOLOGIST OR PEOPLE WHO SHOULD GIVE ADVICE...THE FACT THAT YOU ASKED FOR IT, IS WHY YOU ARE GETTING IT.

Mike the D Bag

"Your page sucks.  Your advice column sucks.  You suck. I hate you. Mike"

I blocked you two months ago and you found our email.  Creative and Creepy.  You still cannot come back, enjoy creepin.  Only publishing you because FUCK YOU!!

This is your last moment in fame Mike, enjoy it..  BTW, thank you for your personal email address as well.  Not a threat a promise!  This song is for you, Mike.

 ~*~Kitty~*~

Once again you prove to the word how pathetic you are. Beulah. 

Fuck-Stick of the Future

5-21-13

Dear Kitty’s Sarcasm –

Truth is that I don’t trust you all to have my information and what not.  How can I be ensured you wont tell the world who I am?

Tracy

Dear Tracy,

Thank you for your email.  I always return emails as I have stated on the KS page asking for permission to post etc.  The way your email came across initially I wanted to delete it.  But.... 

I sat on it and noticed the date….HOLY SHIT…you are from the FUTURE.  Due to the awesomeness of that alone you are getting posted and here is my response:

FUCK YOU.

~*~Kitty~*~

par·a·noi·a

   [par-uh-noi-uh]

noun

1.

Psychiatry . a mental disorder characterized by systematized delusions and the projection of personal conflicts, which are ascribed to the supposed hostility of others, sometimes progressing to disturbances of consciousness and aggressive acts believed to be performed in self-defense or as a mission.

2.

baseless or excessive suspicion of the motives of others

Your new screen name is whogivesashit.  

Beulah

Friend or Foe

OUR FIRST LETTER ASKING FOR ADVICE!!  

Dear Kitty and Betty –

I want to start off by saying I am glad you guys are doing more with your online page. 

Here it goes…

My best friend introduced me to a friend (a guy) of hers at a party about a year ago.  We all have been close since then.   The friend asked me out last week in a voice mail.  I haven’t called him back.  I am not sure what to say.  I really feel like he and I click as more than just friends.  My problem is my best friend has liked him for over two years.  My best friend hasn’t acted on her feelings or said anything.

What do I do?

“Dana”

Dear Dana -

I believe you are only asking us permission to be a whore.  At KS's I believe if you want something take it, don't ask for it.  With that said, just remember this...

Your best friend has probably already hooked up with him and lied to you about it.  Now he is just trying for you.  I had a similar situation where I had no knowledge that a friend liked a guy and I went out with him...long story short, he fucked us both and almost tore apart our friendship by lying to us both.  The fact that your friend told you  makes him off limits, unless as I said before you are going for whore status.

Kitty

DISCLAIMER:

REMEMBER THIS IS JUST A FUN BLOG FULL OF SARCASM AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT.  WE ARE NOT DOCTORS, PSYCHOLOGIST OR PEOPLE WHO SHOULD GIVE ADVICE...THE FACT THAT YOU ASKED FOR IT, IS WHY YOU ARE GETTING IT.

Dumby

My wife is jealous of your page.  She told me I am having an emotion affair with your page on Facebook.

How can I help her understand that I not cheating on Facebook pages?

DumbDude

Oh yaaah -  I did once cheat when I met someone on Facebook but it was 4 years ago.  My wife needs to get by this.


Dear DumbDude -

Yes, I changed your name for you, because calling you Chuck made no fucking sense at all.  "Yes, Dear" works well.   When I first read what you wrote before you signed off I thought now here is something to think about...then I got to your "P.S." of sorts and you answered your own fucking question.  You are a cheater.  You should be so lucky that your wife didn't leave you or throw your shit in a pile and burn it.  Get off of Facebook and get off of my page...take your douche cheating friends with you too, if you have any.  I have no tolerance to for weak men.  If you hate your life and want to cheat, be a man and just leave first.  Why do people think they are smart enough to never get caught?  Don't answer that.  I am talking here.  And further more ... don't even think about dragging myself or my writers into your drama filled life by alleging your wife is jealous of my page here.  The fact is she just doesn't trust YOU!  I bet she doesn't even like you.  

Now Bugger off.

~*~*~*~Kitty~*~*~*~

Dear DumbDude -

You obviously are narcissistic ass. Maybe if you spent half the time with her as you do with the internet you may get her respect.
- Buelah (Guest Writer for the week)

DISCLAIMER:

REMEMBER THIS IS JUST A FUN BLOG FULL OF SARCASM AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT.  WE ARE NOT DOCTORS, PSYCHOLOGIST OR PEOPLE WHO SHOULD GIVE ADVICE...THE FACT THAT YOU ASKED FOR IT, IS WHY YOU ARE GETTING IT.

Seriously?

Betty Boop and Kitty Sarcastic -

I had sex and found out I have an std.  I don’t know if I got it from the guy I was just with or had it from before. 

I am afraid if I ask the guy he will blame me.

What do I do?

Freaking Out

Dear Freaking Out -

Are you an idiot?  You have bigger things to worry about rather than pride.  If it's HIV or the Herp...it's forever...don't be a douche.  Tell everyone you know you have slept with since your last STD test prior to finding out this information.  I cannot even really make fun or be sarcastic about this.  I hope this is you just being a douche and making up a story to get posted.  If not, get your head out of your ass and do the right thing.  People's lives are at stake.

*~*~Kitty*~*~

Dear Freaking Out -

Who cares where you got it....you'd better start making a list  of everyone you've been with so they are aware of the STD regardless.  Pull up your big girl panties and take the first step.

Beulah (Guest writer of the week filling in for Betty Boop)

DISCLAIMER:

REMEMBER THIS IS JUST A FUN BLOG FULL OF SARCASM AND IS MEANT FOR ENTERTAINMENT.  WE ARE NOT DOCTORS, PSYCHOLOGIST OR PEOPLE WHO SHOULD GIVE ADVICE...THE FACT THAT YOU ASKED FOR IT, IS WHY YOU ARE GETTING IT.