ANOTHER YEAR OLDER - KITTY'S BIRTHDAY RECAP

Okay...so first things first...I'm alive and so is my best girl...the Washington Bestie ditched us for racquetball. We had my birthday celebration yesterday. I'm alive. I'm currently in better shape than anyone would expect for a now 39 year old who basically drank for 12 hours and only had one hard taco and some chips n salsa for the entire day. 

I did however have about five margaritas and numerous Malibu with pineapple juices, pineapple martinis galore and I think a few long island ice teas (nope the teas weren't mine but I kept drinking everyone else's). My car is probably being towed as you read this (oh I pray to the Bitchacho & Manalope Gods that it is not being impounded). 



We had to leave my baby (my car -her name is Lilo for those who are new... ) at a bar about a half hour from my house. Then I called my bestie from Washington who met us at a karaoke bar with pictures of animals and antlers all over the place. 

There was a super hot guy there but of course my friends love me and apparently hate me so every time he came up to me they pussy and cock blocked like the asshole lovelies they are. I'm lucky to have people who care if I'm a whore or not. That's good friendship.

Because I'm not and no need to start now....right?!??!!? BUT he was soooooo hot and of course was in the military. I do love a good uniform. I think I'm going back one day to see about that shit. He was hot hot hot...okay...so mind you this was about six to seven hours into drinking so...Yeeeeaaahhh...I'm NEVER going back to that place.

I just remembered they gave me a plastic cowboy hat and a sharpie to have people sign AND WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I used that sharpie to autograph all the Tabasco bottles and pint glasses I could find. I'm pretty sure I'm banned for life. I bet my picture is already up on the wall. I think we left there because my girl and I got cut off or the sharpie thing might of gotten us booted. 

But no fear more friends showed up and drove us around in a big truck that I literally had to have help getting into and out of because...DUH.....my cute shoes!

There is more to this story. It will eventually all come to me. I will say the night ended with Ferris Buehler's Day Off. I think I got into bed at 5am. And now...here I am. I'm showered and my hair is up in a towel and...

OOOOOHH YEAH....open mic night!

It was open mic night somewhere. I think we were in the sticks somewhere to be honest- I have no clue where we were.
I wish I couldn't feel my face today. Because it fucking hurts.

My friends wouldn't let me take someone's guitar and play. I am pretty sure I ordered a water with lemon at this point for me and told the waitress that the lemon had better be birthday material! Imagine Kitty and a whole lot of bad lip-syncing and even better air guitar!!

WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE MEXICO.

WAIT....did I steal a menu from a Mexican restaurant? !?! Damn it. I did.